I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
