i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
