Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
