Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
