Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
