xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I understand Curling. That high.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
