Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So much rum. So many feels.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
