Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
