I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
wow bdsm is so cute
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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