remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
