I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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