i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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