I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
