I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
