i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
