I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
