I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
