You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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