she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
