she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
