dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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