I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
