Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
