She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
