I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
never play flip cup with pint glasses
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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