Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
