Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
