Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize