Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
