if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize