Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize