I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's official drugs can't kill me
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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