I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
