Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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