Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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