I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my phone needs a breathalizer
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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