Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
