I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
