Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
