Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
