he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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