I showed him my bush... on skype.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
