so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
