So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
do herpes really smell.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Are we still banned from the library?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
