we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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