I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
