The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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