that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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