it wasn't lemon gatorade
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
