I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
foreskin is a definite game changer
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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