he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
