they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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