is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
