He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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