office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
