It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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