That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize